A Slave Chained To The Truth Of Lies...

I have lied... I'm sure you have too... Hell, I'm sure we've all lied at one point or another in our lives... But what I want to address here isn't a simple little lie... No, the thing here that needs to be addressed is lying to yourself, lying to others to make that same lie seems true, and lying to keep that lie alive... This would go on and on to the point where that lie has so much backing to it that it takes on a life of its own, and with that life it becomes the truth... Yeah, that's a shitload of lying involved, but you get the idea... At least I hope you get the idea... This happens a lot more than you could imagine, for it is within our very nature to be able to lie... In a twisted sort of way, it's one of the perks, or setbacks, of conscience...
What do I mean when I say it's a part of our conscience? Well, think about it... A lie is a crime of conscience, and a crime of conscience is a crime made by consciousness... Let me elaborate further... When you lie, only due to your capability to think beyond the box, beyond the supposed the lie, can you find reasoning as to make the lie seem plausible... You'd be able to make parallels between what is and what isn't... So, consciousness makes lies possible, as well as our imagination, because you can think of what isn't and pretend to interact with it as if it did exist... Well, there's the thesis on lying being a capability of conscience anyway...
When one lies, it is usually under the imperative of survival or protection, more often than not one of self interest... It's an instinct we have, avoiding danger... It can't be helped... But why would one lie to a degree that it becomes a false reality? For one, to avoid getting caught for the lie in the first place, which is also driven by the same need to avoid danger... We do it out of fear, instinct, whatever you want to call it, but it does happen... When these lies pile up one after another, over and over again, sooner or later you'd be forced to lie to yourself, to fabricate something as to make all those lies all the more plausible, in hopes of burying it once and for all... This is where that lie starts to draw its first breath... This is where it starts to take a life of its own, a master of your will, so to speak... This now living entity wants to survive just as much as you do, and it'd continue to lie through you to make itself all the more alive... It's kind of scary when you put it in that perspective huh? That we can create a monster within ourselves that can take over our actions... Well, the human conscience is truly a formidable and incredible tool, so don't be too surprised...
So what are we to do if we are chained to the monsters that we ourselves have created? Well, to be honest, not much... Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there isn't hope or anything... But when your mind is ruled by a living lie, how can you see the truth? The lie will make you believe that there is no lie in the first place... Yes, it's starting to become an endless cycle that seems to just get a lot uglier... But the truth is an ugly thing at times... All we can do really is to hope that our enslaved conscience can break those chains and destroy what it had created... What we create, we can destroy...

I myself am a victim of this... Yes, I have lied to myself... I have lived in such lies, and to be honest, I'm still enslaved to quite a few of them... Thing is, when your will is made to believe in such lies, its hard to tell whether it's a lie or not anymore... That's the problem... You can't break free of something you're not even sure exists... I find myself in turmoil at times, where parts of my past clash with the what I am now, so I know that there are fabrications within my history... All I can hope is that who I am now will overpower the lies someday... Thing is, they have the advantage of age, and with age comes power...