Broken Mirror To The Soul

>> Thursday, December 29, 2005



Soul In Mirrored Eyes

Staring into eyes of mine,
Eyes so empty,
Eyes so dead,
Eyes devoid of any sign,

Break the mirror,
Million shards,
Shattered reflection,
Imperfection,

Staring into soul of mine,
Soul so hollow,
Soul so false,
Soul devoid of any sign,

Broke the mirror,
Million shards,
Unexpected action,
Such satisfaction,

Staring down at eyes of mine,
Eyes so many,
Eyes so true,
Eyes that for once are actually mine,

Broken mirror,
Million shards,
Fragmented reaction,
Yet no deception,

Staring into soul of mine,
Soul so scattered,
Soul so real,
Soul that for once gives me a sign,

Soul in the mirror,
Million shards,
True personification,
Me by definition...



When you look into a mirror, you'd expect to see yourself within it... A reflection of yourself stares right back at you, face to face, eye to eye... Is that the case though? The reflection you see is a perfect visual representation of you, but by no means is it a true reflection of who you are... Not by a long shot... Well, maybe so, if you're a really honest person that's so shallow and uncomplicated that one can take what they see of you as who you are, but what are the odds of that, right? Personally, I don't see myself when I look into a mirror... I see what the rest of the world sees of me, those that don't know me... It's a pale comparison to who, to what I really am... No, the time when I see myself in a reflection is when I take that damned mirror and throw it on the floor... Those fragments, the shattered image, that's who I really am... In a way, that's who we all are... I'd rather look through the fallen and broken mirror than to look into one undamaged, for none of us can be said to be perfect...
So why look at yourself through the broken mirror, you ask? Why should we see the many different reflections that look back at us from all those shattered pieces, those different angles? It's because we are as that broken reflection, each part a representation of us, and through each one we see things in a new view, a different way... The many selves that we see through those reflective shards gives us insight into our multi-faceted selves, and only then can we see the greater whole...
We may see a complete representation of us within an unbroken mirror, but it's just a mere illusion to the deeper complexities of our own conscience... It's a shortcut, an escape of sorts, rather than having to deal with the broken jigsaw of our own selves... It might also come as a surprise that in some cases, the unassembled jigsaw that is us makes more sense apart than put together... A shard of our past, a fragment of our dreams, a jagged representation of our fears, a disjointed view of our many possible futures, that's what we can see through the broken mirror...
I stood before a mirror once, but the lie that was my own false reflection was too much to bear, and now I stand before an empty frame,looking downwards to see a multitude of my very own eyes looking back at me... Through them, I finally am beginning to find myself and the answers I need in life... If you stood before a mirror, what would you choose?

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Perhaps Love, Definitely Foolish...

>> Saturday, December 24, 2005


Well, it's been a while since my last update... And much has transpired in the time since then... Too much in too little a time frame for me to cope with, yet that time seems much longer in which for me to bear that which has occured... Alas, that's the way things are... The best of times are mere fleeting moments in ones life, yet the darkest of despair and sorrow can last for what seems like an eternity...
As one can guess from the title of the entry, the root of both my joys and woes stem from that one element which, no matter how much we say otherwise, plays a huge part in our lives... I've a lot to say on the topic, and have advised countless others in their love lives, yet ironically, I seem to fail to heed my own advice... Haha... Well, once again, that's the way things work in this screwy little world of ours... The next paragraph onwards will be something I wrote a long time ago, with changes here and there to grammar and sentences, and some new sections added at later dates from its original posting... So if it sounds a little familiar, bear with me...



Everyone knows what love is, and have had and given it some time during their lives. Yet love in its truest state is harder to come by. We see couples everywhere, yet how many of them actually understand what it is they feel? I hate to admit this, but the world's gone to hell, and love's followed it every step of the way. Of course, there are many exceptions to the rule, but when viewed from a more remote view, it's a sad and painful world we live in, with only our solitude and confusion for company. No one can deny it. We all want to be loved. We may be hurt over and over again in our search for that near mythical feeling, yet we still keep at it, striving for as long as it takes. Many claim to have given up, their hearts broken over and over again, but given some time they'd be back on the search once again. However, there are also those in this world that take such a sacred emotion for granted, twisting and abusing it to satisfy their own whimsical needs. Some blame spurned love for such acts, yet it's a poor excuse. However, at least it is an excuse, which is far better than those who have marred that emotion with purpose and intent behind their eyes.
Love is a strong word, with many levels and emotions that tag along with it. So exactly what is it that I am trying to explain to you here? I speak of love as though I know it all, but to be fair, I'm probably as blind as everyone else is. This is just my humble opinion on the matter. When I say love, it is the act of loving another for nothing but that feeling itself, with no thoughts of rewards or repercussions, knowing all to well that you're risking your heart and soul by putting in the hands of another. I refer to that emotion of bliss of not wanting anything, but giving everything. Yes, sounds stupid I'm sure, especially in this day and age, but it's a nice way to look at it.
How can such a thing exist in modern times? What brings about this intensity of emotion? Well, there's the theory of similarity, where two people with similar interests meet each other and sparks fly. Then there's of course the ones which bloom from friendship, where both parties want to take it a step further. There is also the rather childish love one might have for an acquaintance, where someone claims to love someone they see often. This to me is rather dubious, for all they love is what they see, not what lies within the shell that they are attracted to. 'Love at first sight' might also be put in that category. They might find a mutual attraction with each other visually, but what happens when they find out they can't get along at all? True, there are cases where this type of love flourishes into something beautiful, but it is a rare thing indeed for that to happen these days. Even I have to admit falling in love after just a night out with this one girl, so while I speak negatively of it, it does happen. Then there are those that believe in finding their soulmate, having faith that there's someone out there for them, and just for them. I have mixed feelings about this. True, there might be a special person out there for each and every one of us. However, It's a rather depressing thought, for what happens if we never find that person? Of course, there are many other views on what love is and its meaning, but stating them all would be an excersize in futility.
In our search for love, we leave behind a trail of heartbreak and sorrow. Many friendships have been ruined because of it, and even our families have been scarred by our quest. Love is a dangerous thing. Real love today is scarce, and it is a sad thought that it isn't as revered as before. Unfortunately no one really seems to care that its value is lost to most. In ages past, whole nations and empires would move forth, rise and fall for the love of two people, yet whilst it may sound stupid now, it does show the strength that emotion once had. Nowadays, you'd be surprised to see any kind of reaction at all. We live in a world of dredgery and monotonous routine, and such wild elements no longer seem to have a place in our mechanical existence, unless it comes from an artificial source. That's the best way to put it, I guess. We're all so wrapped up with ourselves that we all just exist, experiencing the world through artificial means, losing touch with what makes us human. Here I go again rambling on, but bear with me.
In our search for true love, we must be prepared for the worst. The one certainty of love is the pain that comes with it. Do not be surprised if you find someone to love, and find out that it wasn't meant to be. Just make sure you let go of what happened and be ready to move on. Do not linger over a failed relationship, for that path will undeniably lead to sorrow. If you must, hang on for a while, but things will start to deteriorate, and you'll have to get on with your life and let go. To keep a hold of something unobtainable will not only hurt you , but everyone around you.
Love will always be there, to either haunt us or bring us joy. Whatever it may do to us, remember that life isn't all about finding that special someone. There is much more to our existence than that. If you are in a relationship that works, never take it for granted, and be grateful that you have found it. Cherish it for all time. Love someone for who they are, not what you want them to be. If you do change them, then the only thing you love is the image you've built around them, not the true person who resides within. Know what it is you want, what it is you love.
As for the rest of us, we shall continue to strive for love as we live on one day at a time, making sure it doesn't interfere with the rest of our lives. At the end, as long as you have loved, that is good enough. For to live is to love, and to have died without ever loving is to have never truly lived at all...



Heh, after re-reading my own words from the past, it's easy to see the youthful idealism in my thoughts those days... Such blind faith, foolish hopes... Not to say that the chords my words struck weren't true, but at that point in time, I had no idea how harsh the reality of the situation really was... Those days, I'd jump off the edge of a cliff without pause, believing that someone, something, would be there to catch me... Well, since then, I've jumped one too many times, and all I've to show for it are scars... I don't blame the world, I don't blame the people, I blame myself... Oh what I would give to have such blind faith, such foolish hopes once more... How I wish I could bear my heart and soul to the world, knowing that in the end, all would turn out well... That's where the fault lies I guess, we're all so scared to get hurt that we avoid everything and end up hurting anyway... Dear lord, I am so rambling completely off the wall here... I'm ending this post here, before I go on and on about the banality of existence...

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