A Slave Chained To The Truth Of Lies...

I have lied... I'm sure you have too... Hell, I'm sure we've all lied at one point or another in our lives... But what I want to address here isn't a simple little lie... No, the thing here that needs to be addressed is lying to yourself, lying to others to make that same lie seems true, and lying to keep that lie alive... This would go on and on to the point where that lie has so much backing to it that it takes on a life of its own, and with that life it becomes the truth... Yeah, that's a shitload of lying involved, but you get the idea... At least I hope you get the idea... This happens a lot more than you could imagine, for it is within our very nature to be able to lie... In a twisted sort of way, it's one of the perks, or setbacks, of conscience...
What do I mean when I say it's a part of our conscience? Well, think about it... A lie is a crime of conscience, and a crime of conscience is a crime made by consciousness... Let me elaborate further... When you lie, only due to your capability to think beyond the box, beyond the supposed the lie, can you find reasoning as to make the lie seem plausible... You'd be able to make parallels between what is and what isn't... So, consciousness makes lies possible, as well as our imagination, because you can think of what isn't and pretend to interact with it as if it did exist... Well, there's the thesis on lying being a capability of conscience anyway...
When one lies, it is usually under the imperative of survival or protection, more often than not one of self interest... It's an instinct we have, avoiding danger... It can't be helped... But why would one lie to a degree that it becomes a false reality? For one, to avoid getting caught for the lie in the first place, which is also driven by the same need to avoid danger... We do it out of fear, instinct, whatever you want to call it, but it does happen... When these lies pile up one after another, over and over again, sooner or later you'd be forced to lie to yourself, to fabricate something as to make all those lies all the more plausible, in hopes of burying it once and for all... This is where that lie starts to draw its first breath... This is where it starts to take a life of its own, a master of your will, so to speak... This now living entity wants to survive just as much as you do, and it'd continue to lie through you to make itself all the more alive... It's kind of scary when you put it in that perspective huh? That we can create a monster within ourselves that can take over our actions... Well, the human conscience is truly a formidable and incredible tool, so don't be too surprised...
So what are we to do if we are chained to the monsters that we ourselves have created? Well, to be honest, not much... Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there isn't hope or anything... But when your mind is ruled by a living lie, how can you see the truth? The lie will make you believe that there is no lie in the first place... Yes, it's starting to become an endless cycle that seems to just get a lot uglier... But the truth is an ugly thing at times... All we can do really is to hope that our enslaved conscience can break those chains and destroy what it had created... What we create, we can destroy...

I myself am a victim of this... Yes, I have lied to myself... I have lived in such lies, and to be honest, I'm still enslaved to quite a few of them... Thing is, when your will is made to believe in such lies, its hard to tell whether it's a lie or not anymore... That's the problem... You can't break free of something you're not even sure exists... I find myself in turmoil at times, where parts of my past clash with the what I am now, so I know that there are fabrications within my history... All I can hope is that who I am now will overpower the lies someday... Thing is, they have the advantage of age, and with age comes power...

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Fly Free...

In this modern day and age, we are blessed with something that we all take for granted... Our freedom... We have the opportunity to do as we will, as we wish... Ironically, despite all we've done and sacrificed to obtain such freedom, the vast majority of us are still no better than the caged beasts in a zoo... What does it mean exactly when I say free? There's a question that can spark an eternity of arguments and debates... But fundamentally, freedom is to be able to do what you want, and not to conform to anyones or anythings expectations or standards... Even your stereotypical rebel isn't really free, when you really think about it... The typical modern rebel vying for 'freedom' does so by conforming to the standards that others have labelled as being rebellious... Thus, theoretically, he no longer is a rebel, but just changing his stance and point of views from one to another... Yes, I know this is a really annoying and redundant topic that's probably going to go round and round in circles, but it's been on my mind for the past few days, and it's made me think a lot more than I usually do...

Many things conflict with one another, in regards to freedom, being free, and the social and personal context we find ourselves in... If one chooses freely to conform to the social norms, does that make him free? Or does that indicate a conscious choice to lose one's freedom? I myself think that I have a soul of a Dragon, so in essence, I have joined the ranks of others who think of themselves as Dragons... One can argue that I chose freely, and no one made me or expected me to make my decision but myself, so I still retain my freedom... However, one could also say that I had an expectation upon myself to be a Dragon... So does that merit any changes to my stance on being free? Sigh, I've been giving myself one hell of a headache with all these thoughts, but still, it's better than living life aimlessly... So let's carry on...
So, how do we tell if we are free? How can we achieve such freedom as to be unchained to any definition? Well, to start, one must realise that they aren't as free as they thought... One needs to rise above it all... This is by no means an easy task... Everyone would like to think that they are free to make their own choices and decisions... Everyone believes that they have set out upon a path that they themselves chose... Now here's the glaring point in my prior statement... They chose to set upon a path that they themselves chose... That shows that the path existed, someone had created it before them... And now they're just following it... And even then, how much of your supposed choice was really yours, and how much of it was either influenced or suggested by the environment around you? The only true freedom is in ignorance or enlightenment... One you have is when you're born, the other's when you die... Life in between is where you lose that freedom... Or do you?
If you live your life with no expectations, and without the expectations of others, living life for life's sake... That's a good indication of having a free life... Or as close to it as you can get... You're going to have to burn a few strings that bind you, which might include family and friends, but if they really are your kin of heart and blood, they'd understand... In other words, once you realise that you're not as free as you thought you were, you have taken the first step towards that freedom that mankind always talk about, but hardly ever experienced...
Take flight on wings of fire, never let yourself be grounded... When you're above it all, you'll know what freedom is, and how much of a slave you were before... Then, and only then will you be able to start the journey towards freeing yourself...

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Awakened...

First off, I'd like to say I am sorry for the lack of updates on my blog... It's been a long time, more than a month, since my last update... Well, from my last entry, things were rather bleak for me, or rather from my eyes... Well, suffice to say things have taken a turn for the better, or worse, depending on exactly who's eyes we're looking through...
One important event during my sabbatical from life was the discovery of another Dragon, and possibly the existence of others... For those who don't really know me, when I say 'Dragon', I don't literally mean your typical big giant fire-breathing lizard with wings... It's more along the lines of character and personality... Though at times I do wish I could fly around and blast some of the more foolish and ignorant people of this world clear off the face of this earth... Anyway, I'm starting to drift from my point... It's good to know that I have found others like myself I can relate to... While they are not Windsong Dragons such as myself, they are Dragons nonetheless... My dear Phoenix, don't feel threatened... You are still my Phoenix... While you are of fire and feather, and myself sorcery and scale, that difference between us is the one that binds us...
As for the events that had very nearly slain me this past few weeks, I have to admit that I was indeed defeated in battle... Ironically, the battle was within myself, and it was my own claws that had torn my wings and my own teeth that sank into my flesh... When I fell from the sky and crashed to the earth, it took me a long while to recover... Then again, the only wounds that you learn from are those that cause the most pain and hardships, so all in all, I guess that turned out for the best... Further down the road, I might just put in an entry regarding the events that had transpired, but for now, I shall remain silent...
So where do I go from here? Honestly speaking, I don't know what I'm currently doing... Yeah, for all my supposed wisdom and knowledge, I am lost when it comes to myself... I find the irony in the situation oddly amusing... No one seems to be able or knows how to help me or even comfort me, as it is I that usually plays those very roles... When the Dragon becomes a man, it isn't easy for his fellow man to become a Dragon in his stead... Heh, go figure...
So, yes, people... Sylverphyre, last of the Windsong Dragons, is back... Things may have changed in my life, but I have many people out there to thank... You know who you are, people... If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even have this life... Know that a Dragon's always ready to stand by your side when all seems lost... Quoting myself from one of my own poems, "when all is lost, then all is found..." That was what I had experienced, and should you seem to find yourself lost or losing everything, I'll be there...

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